When I discovered my Tony was still on a dating site, I set a honeytrap and sat back and waited for him to take the bait... By Angela James, 50

I laughed as a cheeky message appeared on my mobile phone.

‘Alright gorgeous? How are you?’

‘Not bad,’ I replied. ‘Could be better though.’

‘How about I take you out for a drink, see if that makes a difference?’ came the reply.

After meeting on online dating site Plenty of Fish in November 2016, I had been chatting to mechanic Tony, 51, for a few weeks but we hadn’t met in person yet.

He lived around an hour away from me, and after getting to know each other online I decided it couldn’t do any harm to meet face-to-face.

But after suffering a brain haemorrhage and a stroke in August 2012, I struggled with tiredness so couldn't go out much - meaning he would have to come to me.

‘I understand if that makes things a little more difficult,’ I said.

But surprisingly, Tony didn’t seem to mind.

‘How about I come over and cook you dinner?’ he suggested. ‘You can relax with a glass of wine.’

‘Sounds good to me,’ I replied.

Things were already looking promising, and when Tony arrived at my door I was thrilled to find I fancied him just as much in the flesh. Luckily, there was an instant spark between us.

We had a lovely evening, and Tony couldn’t do enough for me. He was charming, funny and very witty, and as we chatted away I felt like I’d known him for years.

‘I’d love to see you again,’ he said as he got ready to leave.

‘Definitely,’ I grinned. ‘Next time, I’ll cook for you.’

After that, we were inseparable. Tony would drive up to see me most nights, and soon we were in a serious relationship.

He treated me like a princess, so it didn’t take long for me to fall head over heels in love with him.

Within a few weeks of us being together, he told me that he loved me.

It was fast - but it felt completely right.

‘I love you too,’ I said, a smile spreading across my face.

But a year later, in October 2017, Tony started to act differently. He became distant and withdrawn, and was secretive with his phone too.

One evening he ignored me for hours, only speaking to me to ask when dinner would be served. So I decided to confront him about his behaviour.

‘Who are you texting?’ I demanded.

‘Oh nobody,’ he shrugged. ‘Just a mate.’

When I tried to sit next to him on the sofa and get a glimpse of his phone, Tony shuffled away and turned his phone screen away from me. That’s when I became really suspicious.

What was he hiding?

‘Are you texting another woman?’ I blurted out, and Tony looked at me incredulously.

‘You’re crazy,’ he said. ‘I wouldn’t do anything like that to you, you know that.’

Although he claimed I was being paranoid, I knew my nagging doubts were more than that. So the next day, I seized my opportunity to investigate.

When Tony borrowed my iPad to send a colleague a message about work one night, I noticed he’d accidentally left himself logged into Facebook. That’s when I knew I had a chance to find out what he was hiding.

The next day, I waved him off to work and picked up my iPad. There, in his Facebook messages, was a handful of flirty messages to women.


After reading those, I decided to check if he was still on Plenty of Fish.

I’d deleted my account as soon as we’d started a relationship, and I’d assumed that Tony had, too.

So I logged back in with my old details, and searched for him. To my surprise, I couldn’t find his account.

But instead of feeling relieved, my spidey-senses told me that he was still hiding something. So I decided to message one of the women on his Facebook profile to ask how she’d met him.

I wasn’t surprised when she said Plenty of Fish. That’s when I decided to set up a new account, and search for him that way.

To my surprise, he still had an account - and it was active. He’d just blocked me from seeing it.

Staring at the screen, I was furious.

Why was my boyfriend still on a dating website?

After guessing his password, my worst fears were confirmed. Hurt and angry, I realised he’d been messaging multiple women through the site and arranging dates.

He’d been doing it for the entire year we’d been together. I felt vindicated, but I needed to know just how far Tony would go.

That’s when I hatched a plan. I was going to ‘catfish’ that rat. 

I decided I was going to make a fake dating profile, including lots of realistic details about the woman I was pretending to be.

I became Lilli - a high-flying solicitor.

It didn’t take Tony long to take the bait - within minutes of me setting up the account, he messaged me.

‘Hello,’ he wrote. ‘Are you new on POF?’

‘Hi there,’ I wrote back. ‘Yes I am! I set up my account tonight. You didn’t waste any time in getting in touch.’

‘I don’t like to waste time when I see a beautiful woman,’ he replied.

‘I’m guessing you’re single then?’ I wrote.

‘Yes I am,’ he replied. ‘I’m quite choosy, though.’

My blood boiled as he started flirting immediately.


I was devastated, but I decided I was going to keep my cool and teach him a lesson. I messaged the randy rat from Lilli’s account for two whole weeks.

It was agony, acting normally while I knew what two-timing Tony was really up to, but I was determined he wouldn’t suspect a thing.

The act paid off because eventually, he asked Lilli to meet up for a date.

‘I’d love to take you out for dinner,’ he wrote. ‘Shall we meet?’

‘Sure, book us a hotel room?’ I said.

‘OMG really?’ he said. ‘I’d love to but I’ve never booked a hotel room for a date before!’

‘Well why not give it a try?’ I typed back as Lilli.

Tony didn’t have to be asked twice and he immediately made the booking.

When the night of the date rolled round, I smiled through gritted teeth when Tony lied to me that he was busy.

‘Oh really?’ I said. ‘I was hoping we could see each other tonight. I’m really missing you.’

‘Sorry babe,’ he lied. ‘I can’t, I’ve got loads on. But I’ll see you in a few days.’

Later that evening, Lilli received a message from Tony.

‘I’m here at the hotel,’ he said. ‘Will you be long?’

That’s when I unleashed my revenge. Picking up my iPad, I logged back into Tony’s Facebook page and publicly outed him for the lying, cheating rat he really was.

Not only was he stood up by his ‘date’ for the night, but all his friends and family found out exactly what he’d been up to.

Tony couldn’t deny it any longer.

‘Alright,’ he texted. ‘You caught me. Well done.’

I ignored him for weeks, but it wasn’t long before he begged for another chance. Tony swore he would make it up to me and couldn’t apologise enough for his terrible behaviour.

Reculantly, I agreed, but ultimately the trust was gone and in December 2018, we split for good.

Now I’m moving on and I know I’m better off without him. But I’ll never forget the day I set a trap and reeled in a ratfish!

Tony says: “Nobody’s perfect in an ideal world are they? I’m always made out to be a bad guy but genuinely I’m not. I think everyone looks for something extra don’t they? Angie with her medical conditions meant I used to miss out on a lot of things, like going out and stuff. But yeah, I fell for it hook, line and sinker and it was embarrassing. At the end of the day I don’t want to hurt anyone but I’m only human. I’ve never cheated on anyone before, Angela is honestly the only woman I’ve ever cheated on. It was a shock when I found out, but I fell for it and I actually thought well done her. I arrived at the hotel and messaged the woman, and of course then the bombshell hit. But I’ve learned my lesson now.”

After trapping her rat, Angela wanted to name and shame him so approached our team at Sell My Story to help. We helped her place her story in women's magazines both in the UK and Australia, securing her maximum coverage and a top fee. If you've been betrayed and want to share our story, send us a message for a confidential chat.


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