After ten years together, I was expecting a glittering ring but instead I got a crashing bombshell… By Katalin Toth, 35

As I sipped on my cup of tea and gazed across the room at Istvan, I let my mind wander. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a couple of kids running about the place, I daydreamed.

Istvan and I had been together for a couple of years and although I knew he was the man I wanted to be with, we’d never really spoken about our future - and I decided it was about time we did.

‘Do you ever think about getting married and having a family?’ I asked Istvan one evening as we were cuddled up on the sofa.

‘Of course, but I think we should get a mortgage first,’ he replied, kissing my forehead.

‘Hmm, good idea,’ I said, snuggling into his chest. Istvan was the more sensible one but I agreed we needed a place of our own.

‘It might take a while but it will be worth it in the long run,’ Istvan said.

Saving for a house was tough and as the years rolled by, I grew impatient as I wondered if we’d ever be able to afford a home of our own.

‘You do love me don’t you?’ I pressed Istvan when I began to worry whether he genuinely saw a future with me.

‘So much, what’s wrong?’ he replied.

‘I just didn’t realise it would take so long to get our own place,’ I admitted. ‘We’re nearly there, I promise,’ he said, holding me in his arms.

I breathed a sigh of relief and then finally, in 2014, after we’d been together eight years, we’d finally saved enough to buy a place of our own.

‘It’s perfect!’ I squealed as we picked up the keys and walked through the door of our new home for the first time.

‘It really is,’ Istvan grinned, spinning me around in his arms.

It took us a few months to re-decorate and settle in but once we’d got our home just as we wanted it, my familiar doubts returned.

I should have been more convinced than ever that Istvan wanted a future with me, after all, buying a home together was his idea.

But there was still no sign of a ring. Why hadn’t he proposed yet?

We’d been in the house just under a year when I confronted Istvan. ‘Do you ever want to get married?’ I finally snapped.

‘We’ve spoken about this, you know I do,’ he said turning to look at me.

‘Then why haven’t you asked me?’ I replied, holding back the tears.

‘Umm, I’m just not sure we’re ready. I think we should get a dog first,’ he blurted.

I couldn’t believe it. A dog?

‘Yeah, if we can look after a dog for a year then we know we will be ready for marriage and children,’ he replied.

I loved dogs, and it seemed logical enough, but as we trotted off to buy a puppy, there was still a nagging doubt in the back of my mind that Istvan was putting me off.

‘What shall we call him?’ Istvan beamed as we brought our gorgeous bundle of fur home. ‘Didi,’ I suggested, as I buried any worries I had.

‘It’s perfect,’ Istvan said, and we both fell completely in love as we bonded over our fur baby.

I felt so much more relaxed in our relationship. Yes, Istvan was cautious, but we had a mortgage and a dog, he obviously just had very set ways and wanted to do things in a rigid order.

And as time went by, I grew more and more excited at the thought of getting married. But when we’d had Didi a year and there was still no sign of a ring, I grew impatient.

I was fed up of having to ask Istvan about marriage and so instead, I started dropping hints. I even showed him my dream ring and favourite wedding venue but still, nothing.

When I noticed Istvan becoming distant, I told myself he was planning a proposal and was just nervous. Is this it? I wondered excitedly, butterflies in my stomach.

Then one evening, I was using Istvan’s phone to get a contact I needed but I kept getting put off by a number continuously messaging him.

I’d never had the urge to check up on Istvan before but something told me I needed to find out who these messages were from.

I felt crazy as I checked the coast was clear before clicking into the messages… and then the bombshell hit.

I felt the bile rise in my throat as I scrolled through countless messages between Istvan and another woman, dating back months.

I’m falling in love with you, he’d written.

I couldn’t believe it. After a decade together, I’d expected an engagement ring but instead it looked like Istvan was cheating.

‘What the hell’s going on?’ I confronted him immediately.

I hoped he’d be able to explain it, that it would all be a silly misunderstanding, but the smug smile on his face confirmed my worst fears.

‘Yeah, I’ve been cheating on you, and what?’ Istvan shrugged, almost proudly.

I couldn’t believe it. How could he?

Devastated, I locked myself in the bedroom and sobbed as my mind raced. So this is why he wouldn’t propose, I thought as things suddenly began to make sense.

When I finally managed to drag myself downstairs the next day, I was stunned when I was greeted by Istvan… and his mistress.

My jaw fell open in shock and I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

‘This is my friend, Katalin,’ he introduced me to the mystery woman. I didn’t even catch her name before I lost it.

‘Your friend!? How dare you bring her here!’ I screamed at Istvan before turning to her.

‘Did you know that we have been together for ten years and this is our home?’ I spat.

His floozy looked mortified and fled without saying a word. Istvan ran out after her and I went to sit in the conservatory to calm down.

When Istvan returned, storming back into the house, he glared at me with a rage burning in his eyes I’d never seen before.

He took off his heavy boots and threw them directly in my face as I tried to cover myself.

‘You’ve ruined my life, I’m going to kill you!’ he screamed, grabbing a fist full of my hair and yanking my head up as he rained down blows on me.

I tried to make a run for it and somehow managed to grab my phone in the struggle, but before I had the chance to call for help, Istvan hurled me into the kitchen cupboards.

I watched as the phone was knocked out of my hands and Istvan stamped on it so hard, it smashed into pieces.

I’ll never get out now. I’m going to die, I thought.

But when Istvan got glass lodged in his foot after crushing my phone, I saw my opportunity to escape and fled to the living room, where I locked myself in and dialled 999 on our landline.

‘If you phone the police, I swear to God, you’re dead!’ he yelled as he tried to batter down the door.

When he realised police were already on their way, Istvan fled and I collapsed to the floor, sobbing, as I waited for officers to arrive.

With nowhere else to go, Istvan eventually returned home later that evening, where the police were waiting for him.

He was arrested and later convicted of assault by beating and slapped with a restraining order.

I’m now moving on without Istvan but after ten years together, I still can’t believe that he beat me because he cheated!

Katalin wanted to expose her evil ex after what he did so the team at Sell My Story worked closely with her, to produce an accurate and sensitive account for a national women's magazine. If you want to speak out after you were betrayed by someone close to you, contact us to find out how it works.


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